groom’s family will begin negotiating the wedding and lobola with the bride’s family. isn’t a ‘ Xhosa but a way of building a link between the 2 families. the dimensions of lobola varies considerably counting on the relative wealth and standing of the families, the advantage to realize from the wedding link, and therefore the desirability of the bride.
Traditionally Xhosa usually amounted to eight heads of cattle, and today the worth of every head of cattle forms a part of the general negotiation. However there’s a Xhosa saying, ‘one never stops paying Xhosa ’, which suggests the family link is that the important a part of lobola, a union that has got to be constantly renewed by visiting one’s in-laws, inviting them round, and generally maintaining excellent familial relationships.